Why I Have a Side Hustle and Why I’m Terrified

It’s hard to believe but I started this blog almost four years ago! I was fresh out of college and had started working in corporate America as a financial analyst.  Right out of the gate the job was not enjoyable. The pay was low, the benefits were shotty and there were terrible people to work with. After applying for roughly a billion other jobs and being rejected – I decided a side hustle may help me hate my life just a little less. That’s how I decided to start blogging. I figured that I read a lot, was going through my own stuff and I noticed that I would frequently help my friends with their issues.

Three main things that DROVE me to find a side hustle: 

  1. First, I mentioned that I wasn’t happy with my job. Weirdly (or not), most of my frustrations didn’t come from the actual work. In fact, the work was sort of interesting. I had access to a bunch of financial data for a well-known company right out of college. I could do insider trading with the daily information I was looking at. (Obvs, I never did that or I’d be on the beaches of Bora Bora sipping Mai Tai’s right now). The frustration came from the people I worked with. One woman, in particular, seemed to take an instant disliking to me. I tried EVERYTHING I could to get on her good side but it was no use – she hated me, my work and my face. Eventually, her constant ridicule started to take a toll on my self-esteem and I began believing I was terrible. On top of the constant rejection letters from new jobs, you can see why I started to believe I sucked. My blog gave me something to distract myself with and it gave me hope that one day I would be my own boss.
  2. Speaking of bosses – the potential to no longer have to justify all of my actions to someone has also kept me drawn to my side hustle. I understand why managers exist and I’ve been blessed with mostly fantastic ones. However, I still dislike when I have to justify the work I’ve done. I’m not awesome at talking myself up, therefore, making sure my boss understands my worth can be challenging for me. 
  3. Another thing that drove me to write a blog was that it opens up the door for me to make money on my own terms. Unlike typical jobs, I’ll no longer have to wait a certain number of years to be promoted. My income potential is limited by myself and I like that. 

Three main fears PUSHING me away from my side hustle:

  1. My biggest fear is harsh criticism. Everyone has an opinion and no one is afraid to share it nowadays! Honestly, I’m just not sure if my skin is tough enough to handle the internet assholes and that limits me from putting my content out there.
  2. One of the fears I have with my blog is the same as one of my excitements and that is I am responsible for the money I make. At my current job, this is sort of true however, I don’t charge someone per Excel spreadsheet I send out. With this side hustle, I am the one solely responsible for how well it does. Which brings me to my next fear…
  3. I am worried that I will get caught up in using dollars as my worth metric. Mostly, I’m worried that if my blog eats shit and no one cares I will feel absolutely terrible about myself. However, what is most likely to happen is that my blog will make enough to keep me comfortable. As a result, I’m deathly afraid to put out any products or to promote my blog because I don’t want to be hurt by the zeros.

So there you have it – that’s why I decided to pursue a side hustle and there are some of my fears as I navigate these ‘new’ waters (does 4 years count as new?)


Helene & Pearl