I Wish Someone Had Told Me… Relationships are Like Sweaters

Think about it, relationships are like sweaters. This brilliant analogy came to me, like all great ideas, late at night when I was half asleep. You know when you dream up something at night and you think you’re the smartest funniest person in the world? Yeah, this was one of those times.

I woke up to myself thinking about this analogy at some horrible morning hour. Oddly enough, I keep sticky notes by my bed and a pen to write random shit like this down.

Anyway, hear me out!

You’re walking past a store and you see a damn nice sweater in the window. You’re like, “Shit, that’s fine looking piece of clothing… I’d get that!” You go in, you walk up to the sweater – you evaluate what it’s made out of, where it’s from, it’s stature.

You debate being bold enough to try it on but this sweater is spendy… (this is the high end sweater store). So instead you walk away going, “I’ll get it when it’s on sale” or “Let me think on it.

Days go by and you cannot stop thinking about this damn sweater! So you say to yourself, “Come on, grow a pair! Go try it on. It’s just a fitting room (aka date) – what’s there to worry about?!” Meanwhile, you’re also thinking how people may see you with this sweater, sales employees (aka “friends”) may pressure you into buying it, or worse yet – what if you try it on and like it!? It’s way too fancy for you!

So you go back to the store, you try it on. It fits perfectly. You love everything about it – from the sales people’s attention to the fabric. You know when you’re wearing it you’ll be getting tons of looks! After all, this sweater is one-of-a-kind-premium-top-grade shit!

You keep wearing this sweater. You have others you could choose but you like this one! Eventually you start going steady with the sweater. It’s your go to. You make sure it’s clean, cared for and put away nicely.

People start associating you with the sweater! They see the sweater and they think of you. They see you and think of the sweater. But watch out, if people see you without the sweater they will instantly ask, “What happened?? Where’s the sweater??”

Soon enough, some time passes and your sweater starts getting a bit worn out in spots. Threads start coming loose. You pull them out, cut them off or just ignore them. Worn spots start to evolve into holes… Or maybe something horrible happens and your sweater gets caught on something and it causes a massive tear! Dammit sweater, why’d you have to be like that?!

Now you have two choices. Fix the holes or trash the sweater.

Most likely, you’re pretty attached to the damn thing – so you just hold on to the sweater, not fixing the holes, lose threads or broken zipper. You throw your torn sweater in the closet while saying, “Maybe I’ll fix it later. I need some time.

Eventually you know it’s time for you to make your decision. You either donate the sweater or fix the holes. You know how lovely this sweater can be with a little TLC but you also know that sometimes, certain sweaters just go out of style…

My sweater has some loose threads, some baby holes but I’d like to think I’m finding them early enough so they are fixable. Sweaters, I tell ya.